A Letter To My Former Self

Dear younger, smaller, somewhat less wise version of myself, 

First of all I am so proud of you. I know sometimes you are not too sure of yourself and you let yourself down more than you wish, but I am telling you this from the future- what you're doing now is important, and future you is doing just fine. 

I know you have said goodbye to people you love, people you still care about, and while sometimes you get the ache to return back to those who have hurt you, and put your heart through the wringer, please do not do it. Life is hard, the people closest to you need to inspire, love, and encourage you, and people that hurt you, despite their words are not doing that for you. Live your life and do the things you love, and I promise you that you are going to come across some incredible souls. People who make you the very best version of yourself every single day. While we can never replace the people we have lost along the way, starting to make new memories and creating a circle of people who make up a makeshift family is a great way to start healing your heart. 

Please be kind to yourself. This is much easier said than done, trust me I get it. While people say that "life is short," relatively life is actually pretty lengthy, so it is so important to be kind to yourself- mentally, physically, and emotionally. Be kind to your brain, it is the best tool you have to offer, all your words and ideas are so important to the world, so for the sake of the world- take care of the brain that you were blessed with. Be kind to your body, that means that yes, cookies and ice cream taste awesome and it is really easy to eat them for every meal, however, please remember that your body is a storage unit for that beautiful brain we just talked about. You need both to be successful. So enjoy life, don't spend your life counting every calorie and enjoy your cookies and ice cream, but stay hydrated and enjoy a quality salad from time to time. It won't kill you, I swear. Take care of your heart. Surround yourself with the people that make you laugh when you don't want to smile, and take time for yourself. You will thank yourself for putting yourself first from time to time. 

Please know that the person you are in high school does not have to be the person you continue to be when you leave. Once you leave, it is so strange to see that everyone is right- life gets better after high school. Some people grow up, some do not. Please grow up when you leave high school. Be honest with people, let people know when you love them, and be the kind of person you hope to meet. Above all, be decent. Be kind. 

Do a lot of what makes you happy. If you find yourself waking up every morning and you are not excited about your life, change something. Do the things that make you feel important. Write, sing, create, inspire, encourage, love. Do not waste time doing things that do not make you happy because you feel the need to fit in, or to impress others. Do what you feel you were put on this earth to do, and do it often. It is okay to not be the person that other people want you to be. It is okay to be the person you want to be. Be weird, the right people will love you for you, no questions asked. 

My very last piece of advice to you is this; be patient with yourself. Push yourself, of course, but please stop putting yourself on a pedestal. Please do not expect perfection. Accept the things you cannot change about yourself. Improve yourself in the areas that life allows. It is okay to not be a genius in every aspect of life. You are allowed to fail without your whole world tumbling down. It is okay to stumble as long as you get up and try again. Understand that you are a work in progress, and that God is not finished with you yet. Understand that people love you despite your imperfections, and sometimes they love you more because of them. It is okay to be human. 

So little one, keep growing. Keep learning. Keep believing in magic and the power of words. Keep loving people. Keep loving yourself. Keep on keepin' on.